I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
