I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Boobs are out for the taking
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
