I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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