Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
