Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
