i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
