why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
