Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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