Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
