I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
