I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
