I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
