I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
