I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
