it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
