apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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