Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
