my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
