do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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