Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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