Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
