So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
