Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Randomize
