just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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