There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
