I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
