How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
