Having a random hookup so left but love u
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
