On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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