I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
