I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
why is half of my head shaved?
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