I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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