i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
