ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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