I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Nicole vs. Life
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
