first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
