it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
