ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
