I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
