Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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