I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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