My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
