If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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