all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
