okay pat passed out under dana's car
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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