I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
