It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
