I wanna bring you to show and tell
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
