you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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