addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
