yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
