how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
zippers are such a cool invention
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
