doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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