if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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